Thoughts to words....

Lately I have had many things on my mind all stemming from different things and sometimes I just need to take these things and put them to words....

The last little bit I have been really worried about the young women in our branch.  I have two girls that don't know how to read or write in English or Spanish and it makes my heart ache for them because without knowing how to read and write how are they going to make it in this fast paced world.  On top of that I went to an activity last night and I got a little glimpse of what it was like to see though one of theirs eyes.  We had standards night with the stake.  When she got there she came in and sat down by me and the first thing that she did was sit down and look around and said "it only white people here" I said to her "yes but I am here with you."  (non of the other young women could be there from our branch)  You could see in her eyes this sense of not belonging when she looked around the room.   Mersadie was with me and so I had to stand up with her in the back and when I did I got a little glimpse from the spirit of what she was feeling like I looked at all of the blond, brown heads with white skin and then there was her all alone, in the sense that she was the only one with black hair and brown skin.  My heart hurt so much for her because that is what she saw.  She sees that she does not belong here in the united states but she also does not belong exactly at home because here mom speaks Spanish.  She just does not have a place.  Those who know me know that I really hate crying but my heart hurt so much for her that she could not see how amazing she is and instead of seeing that she does not belong seeing how amazingly beautiful she is and how much she has to offer.  In contrast we went to the Luz del Mundo just a few weeks back and there we were me and my kiddos among thousands and thousands of Latinos and I felt so much in awe of these amazing people and the pride that they have to be them but at the same time I was so proud to be me too.  My daughter has also called herself Spanish before.  She is very proud to be Spanish or better said to fit in at the branch that we go to even though she is the minority.  It is one of those moments that will stick with me forever and helped me to understand why people still today feel this sense of segregation.....which make me so sad because if she could only see how amazingly beautiful she is.  If I could only help her believe what is in this video!!!

No that is not where it ends this week I have had future plans on the brain.  Seth finished the CPA exam and now we are really trying to decide what we want to do with our life.  There are a few different paths but we are not so sure what we will do.  I was talking with a friend and she said that her grandpa got offered to go and play with the Celtic's after college and he said no....that he wanted to raise a family and be a farmer.  This amazing man is the same man the sealed Seth and I in the temple and has done so much good in his life.  It is amazing what paths there are and no one path is the same for everyone.  I know other examples of people that took that amazing job and still did really amazing things in the Gospel.  But the question of the day is what is our path.....guess only time and prayer will tell.

I know rather serious today but lots of things on the brain!!!